That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
