I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And then he peed in my hair
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