I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
