Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
