Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
