Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
