Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i think i just lost a toe
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
