her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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