we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
