there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just invented taco cereal.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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