i will never coherently bang her
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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