He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
