Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
