Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Welp...herpes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
