kristin has been a bad kristin
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
