Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i think i have two assholes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't deserve a penis
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
