oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
