Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
