There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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