no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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