Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
