you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
