You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
