blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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