You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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