playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
