We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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