Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
