Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
