oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
