bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
