...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
