How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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