I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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