you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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