one might say we're banned from that church
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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