He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
