No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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