if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
