You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
