He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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