My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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