woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
