I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
