You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
