Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
