Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love having hate sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
