I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
