I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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