Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
