ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
