i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
